I am startled awake by the alarm on my phone. I swipe across the screen to reveal the Facebook feed I fell asleep to six or seven hours ago. I refresh and catch myself up on what was missed during my slumber: A pregnancy stomach photo from a girl I met a couple of times at a bar a year ago, a status update about life after a break-up and a meme image about following your dreams with a wheat field and lens flares presented.

I sleepily try to concentrate on a Huffington post blog article listing affordable travel destination activities. I retain that Hawaii has more active lava than I expected and Zorbing is something everyone should be doing to get from point A to point B.

Standing is an unfortunate process but I have to pee so badly, my bladder feels like it is Zorbing around my lower half.

No time for breakfast.

In my car, I surf Internet radio for electronically produced music that occasionally leaves me wondering if the artist is talented or not. My search is cut short by a local auto repair advert. My train of thought is lost but I was probably about to start thinking about work, anyway.

Messages from a group I was invited to last week begin popping up, making the advert impossible to understand. The people in the group are not discussing anything I have any input on, at least not that I can think of. I only half read the messages.

At work, I sit at my desk and power up the computers that are my responsibility. I spend the morning hours before lunch ensuring that those computers are having the right conversations with the other computers they are supposed to be speaking with. This is a conversation more troublesome and unreliable than any person I have ever met. Computer six sends a status update about how bad it is feeling. Computers 1-5 could care less but computer 7 shares the status on its screen. Computer 8 tries to send a similar status but must have rethought it as an egotistical, self-serving thing he had scoffed at so many times in the past, because when I refresh my feed, the status is gone.

GPS leads me to Chic-Fil-A. I did not realize there was one so close. Are they still run by prejudice assholes? I should stop eating here but it is really delicious.

Cat video.

I try to muster up the courage to put a status update about not trusting the system but am interrupted by a group text message chain discussing the finer comedic implications of sloth photos with text.

Another celebrity meltdown update.

GPS leads me back to work even though I do not need or ask for it.

I watch a Youtube video on digital video production and visual effects in movies. It is very interesting but five minutes longer than computers 8 and 9 have the patience for.

Computer 9 publicly declares that it is no longer going to communicate with computer 8. Computer 8 has severed the connection and there is nothing that computer 9 can do even if some part of them still wants to.

If I can find it again with little effort, I will come back to the video.

When I arrive home, I enjoy a ham sandwich and a bag of Flamin’ Hot Munchies from the local convenience store (nothing else was as convenient).

My eyes begin to hurt from transferring my gaze between the shining rectangles of the television, my laptop and my phone so I drop some drops in my ducts and decide to go for a late night cruise.

I park my car at the top of a hill I visit from time to time. It overlooks the city in stunning high definition.

Still D.R.E. comes on West Coast Classics Radio in Los Santos and I remember that I am about to steal a helicopter from a restricted area. It may get heavy, but as long as I stay calm, keep moving and remember that the left trigger on this controller sticks a little, it should be fine.

It is just a game after all.

_ By THAN NILES * Writer, producer, filmmaker, videographer | bigballoonpro.com


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